Skinhead Buffy (Based on Skinhead Hamlet, itself a parody of the original Hamlet. You know, the one with all the talking.)

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by Jim Eaton

Series 1 Scene 1: A library

BUFFY: Oi, Mush! Got any books?
GILES (handing her "Vampyre" book): Cop this!
BUFFY: Fuck that!
GILES:You're the fucking slayer!
BUFFY: Who the fuck are you?
GILES: Fucking watcher, that's who.

Scene 2: The Hellmouth

MASTER: That's her fucked, let's rule the world.
BUFFY: Fuck that!
MASTER: You're fucking dead!
BUFFY: Fuck off to hell.

Series 2
Scene 1: Angel's gaff

BUFFY:Big fucking Demon.
ANGEL:Fuck yeah.
BUFFY:Fuck?
ANGEL:Yeah.
<later>
ANGEL:Oh fuck
BUFFY: Where the fuck's he gone?
SPIKE: What the fuck are you doing here?
ANGELUS: I'm fucking evil!
<montage>
DRU: I'm fucking bats!
BUFFY: I'm fucking gutted
WILLOW: I'm a fucking eskimo!
OZ: Who the fuck is that girl?
JENNY: I'm fucked.
GILES: I'm fucking gutted
SPIKE: I'm a fucking cuckold
ANGELUS: I'm going to fuck the world!
XANDER: I fucking hate that wanker
WILLOW: I'm a fucking ghost!
OZ: Who the fuck is that girl?
BUFFY: I'm fucking ready
ANGELUS: Fuck right off
<Willow chanting in Rumanian>
CORDELIA:What the fuck is she on about?
ANGEL:What the fuck is going on?
BUFFY:Close your eyes (sadly) now fuck off to hell!

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