Angel Haiku

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Betsy Hanes Perry.

First I left Buffy.
Then I fired all my helpers.
So lonely. Not fair.

McCarthy was bad.
Paranoia, even worse.
Thank God he lacked mousse.

I bolted the door.
Next I set them both on fire.
Now that's atonement!

Note to self: Next time
Skip crab puffs and hired waiters.
Rent crossbows instead.

Stakes, rebar, guns, swords.
Why is it always my gut?
Head wounds heal faster.

Somewhere in LA
Tim Minear must be moaning
"More haiku? God, why?"

Beware vampire jokes
"The dark tones bring out your eyes"
Two centuries black.

I reached for the mousse
Got the peroxide instead.
Don't try this at home.

He's evil. He's dead.
Why do I take his advice?
We're two of a kind.

Darla, Drusilla.
Then Lindsey, Lilah, Holland.
Next: everyone rhymes.

Purple neck flowers?
Even the homeless kids
Aren't quite that desp'rate.

Problem of evil:
How can I have my vengeance
Yet remain righteous?

The Powers That Be
(If you want my opinion)
Got 'splainin' to do.

Smokers are evil
Leather pants are evil, too
Buffy: Rock Star Slayer.

Madrigal Costello

Lindsey's right hand gone
His doll arm broken also
What now? Evil spork?

Stephanie A. Johnson

I sit. And I brood.
There is no peace for my soul
But damn, I am hot.

Angel turns to dark
Ministers of Grace alone
Will they survive it?

David J. Schwartz

For the Host:
Gay or straight or bi?
Green goes well with anyone
Who carries a tune.

Wesley Wyndham Price
Incompetent Watcher or
Rogue Demon Hunter?

Darla, Drusilla
Nosfer-hotties in my town
Burn, my lovelies, burn

Loaded down with pills
Broadcasting to the machine
Angel, you bastard

David Nabbit gone
Painful stereotyping
Don't bring him back, please

A slow ride to "hell"
With elevator music
And chipper Holland

The love triangle
Lindsey, Darla and Angel
Let's all get naked

Lindsey the cipher
Is he bad or isn't he?
He feels dirty

Cellar massacre
Why spare Lilah and Lindsey?

You keep hurting me
And yet I can't stop watching
Spank me 'til Tuesday

Emily S.

Don't let vampires in!
"Darla, Dru, come in, you two!"
Don't let what now? thump

Hil R.

I killed my sire once.
Now she's in my hotel room.
"Do you feel the cold?"

Sheets are blue, not red
Think it's perfect happiness?
Not while he's brooding.

Power to move things. Angel
Is a bit impaled.

Shot by zombie cops
Wesley's hurt, but still has pulse
Only mostly dead

I need the whirlwind.
You wouldn't kill a baby.
Some vampire you are.

Girlfriend's dumping him
Physics guy has solution
Infinite orgasm

Tim said Holland's dead.
But he keeps getting more scenes.
Is there hope for Doyle?

William and Liam
Willie's Bar, Billy Fordham
Sensing a pattern?

Mike Brady

Angel despite dark style
Is a bright spot for WB net
Better than Popstars

Penny B.

Soul, schmoul, who needs it?
Besides, it's really cold out.
I want my mommy.


Ode to Gunn:
Oh this shirt itches me so
I must take it off
And get Wesley a doctor

Oh, I touch myself
In front of the caméra

I am a dead man
Yes, deader than a dead thing
Let us take a ride.

Small blondes, superstrong
Always make me lose my soul
From now on -- Lindsey.


Tim Minear visits
Everyone tries to impress
The Senior Partner.

Jesse Heggert

Apocolypse now?
Angel can not save the world.
He's busy brooding.

Gunn, Cordelia, Wesley
Down with the homies

Darla, Dru, Angel
Back together again, but
Where's Dru's little Spoike?

To honor the pow'rs
Buffistas write poetry
Is it any good?

Wesley is pretty
But Angel knows how it is
Lindsey wants him bad.

Naked, gay, naked
Gay, naked, gay, naked, gay
Our priorities.

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