The Mayor, that develish fellow
turned into a snake huge and yellow
the Ascension he hosted
but then he got roasted
just desserts, since he harshed Buffy's mellow.
I'd heard of this show called Buffy,
and not watching it made me stuffy.
Hey! I'd thought it'd be bland,
I didn't understand
that the girl is a real toughie.
When Willow decided to switch team
The event generated so much steam
The WB suits,
Disapproving of fruits,
Decreed that her kissage be unseen
Faith was a rogue vampire slayer
who made Xander feel like a playa
She tossed him aside
At great cost to his pride
And hung with the dastardly mayor
Joss built us a show about slayers,
That was truly an onion with layers,
We got quite obssessed,
And had to confess,
We're all just in love with the players.
There once was a Watcher named Giles
Who was charmed by a Gypsy's sweet smiles
She died, which was cruel
He blew up the school
And now with 'Who' covers, beguiles.
Joss is good with the words, but can't do the math,
He's busy finding the arcs, and charting the path,
That man, he's the king,
He gets Giles to sing,
But Marc Blucas can't act, so Joss Whedon's got wrath.
Oz was not one to show every mood
Only rarely displaying a 'tude
He always played it cool
Even in his scary school
But kept on ending up nude
Tara thinks Willow is swell,
And not just because of the spells,
Is she a Thespian?
No doubt a lesbian,
Her secret might send her to hell.
A young and laconic guitarist
ran into a frat boy named Forrest
in an underground lab
he was prodded and stabbed
So he left, which Thou, Viewer, deplorest.
A Slayer in crypt was benighted,
But said, "Please do not be affrighted --
It isn't the vamps
That's causing me angst
It's that my True Love's unrequited."
The Xan-man, you know that he tries,
To help out the rest of the guys.
But the first thing you know,
He's in thrall to the foe,
And eating bugs, spiders and flies...
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