Where The Wild Things Are

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by Lisa Klisch

The night Angel wore his game face and made mischief of one kind and another, Jenny Calendar called him "WILD THING" and Angel said, "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" So he was sent to hell without eating anything.

That very night in Angel's room a ring dropped and shone and his guilt grew until his body hung with chains and the walls became the world all around. And the Mayor slithered by with a new goal for Angel and he sauntered off through the night and in and out of reruns and almost a whole summer to where the wild things are.

And when he came to the place where the wild things are, they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws. (and Angel trilled his terrible tongue.)

till Angel said, "Be STILL!" and staked them with his pointy stick and stared into all their yellow eyes without blinking once and they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all and made him Defeater of all Wild Things. And Angel was happy.

Uh oh.

"And now," cried Angelus, "Let the wild rumpus start!"

"Now stop!" Cordy, Wesley, and Gunn said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. And Angel, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.

Then all around from far away across the world, he spotted good people to save, so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.

But then Darla cried, "Oh please don't go - I'll eat you up - I love you so!" And Angel said, "No!"

Darla roared her terrible roar and gnashed her terrible teeth and rolled her terrible eyes and showed her terrible (?) breasts, but Angel stepped into his private hotel and waved goodbye and brooded over a year and in and out of seasons and through a day and into the night of his very own room where he found his mortality (and Buffy) waiting for him.

And it was still hot.

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