Unca Tim's Woodshed
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All through our childhood on the set, nothing inspired more fear, more primal childhood terror, than Unca Tim...and the ol' woodshed.
Every now and ag'in, usually after Unca Tim had been round to Ol' Dave's still for a nip, he'd come back into the trailer with that look in his eye. That mean look. That look that told a boy that somethin' painful was about to transpire.
And then he'd pull out a pad of paper and a ball-point pen, or maybe even his laptop if it'd been a bad week or a good batch of Ol' Dave's Brew and he'd capture you, transfixed, in that bloodshot glare of his and he'd say "I jest had me an idea...I'm gonna take some notes about character development fer ya...whyn't we go out to the ol' woodshed and discuss it?"
And t'weren't nothin' anybody could do. Not J. Auggie, not Al, not Charisma... we'd all just meekly nod and trudge on out to that ol' woodshed with its cobwebs and its reek of blood and pain and we'd see what Unca Tim had in mind...
...til the day Ol' Dave'd had a bit too much of his own brew and beat Unca Tim to death with a Powerbook. Even Sheriff Whedon didn't push it too far. Everybody on the lot knew that Unca Tim had it comin'. That it was only a matter of time...
"Unca Tim? Why are you looking at me like that? Unca Tim? Unca Tim! Nooooooooooooooo!
" - ita
Originally posted in Angel 5: I Almost Forgot To Brood (#1067), WX, December 4, 2001.
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