Buffy Tonight
(To the tune of "Comedy Tonight" from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum )

by Dana D. and Betsy Hanes Perry

Something that's thrilling
Something that's chilling
Something for everyone
Buffy tonight

Someone neurotic
Someone psychotic
Something for everyone
Buffy tonight

Demons galore, vampires to slay
How will we ever last one more day...

Nothing that's bland!
Nothing slipshod!
No Irish-speaking flashbacks, please God...

Something obsessive,
Nothing transgressive,
Lesbian kisses out of sight...
Olympians tomorrow, Buffy tonight!

Something real spooky
Something that's kooky
Something for everyone
Buffy tonight!

Will Willow's magic
Cause something tragic?
Stay tuned to WB
Buffy tonight!

Xander, my dear,
Needs a career
Here comes the brand new
Buffy premiere

Tune in at seven
To be in heaven
Log on to Table Talk and write
Analysis tomorrow, Buffy tonight!

Originally posted in The Slayer, The Witch and Their Wardrobes (Buffy Part 4) (#2275), TT, September 26, 2000.