"Losing My Mind", from Follies.

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by Betsy Hanes Perry?

[Jonathan Tunick's unbearably sad string orchestration starts up. The lights fade up on a bench (no, no, wrong musical, silly) at center stage.]

[Spike enters from stage right, bottle of tequila in one hand, Willow over one shoulder. (We have cut Xander from this scene. Opera Logic.)]

[He deposits Willow on the bench, leaving his arms free to make those annoying tenor gesticulations. All three straight men in the audience roll their eyes at the wives who dragged them here.]

"The sun comes up... I think about Dru.
I kill a pup... I think about Dru.
I miss her so,
Because she's losing her mind.

[heartbreaking swell of strings; Spike begins to place a hand over his heart, then thinks better of it and swigs some tequila instead.]

"I eat a priest... I think about Dru.
When he's deceased... I think about Dru.
And does she know?
Because she's losing her mind?"

[more sad strings; Spike looks at Willow, who is pretending to be unconscious. So are two of the straight men; the third has slipped out to the lobby for a smoke. Spike looks wistfully after him, but catches the conductor's eye instead.]

"Throughout the night,
when I'm kidnapping a witch,
It's to regain her heart.
Throughout the day,
when I'm sleeping in a niche,
I dream of her...
In whole or part...

"I drain a tot... I think about Dru
I'm turned a sot ... from thinking of Dru
She said she loved me...
Before the Slayer got laid...
Or was she just plain afraid?"

[At this point, Spike leaps through the monitor and strangles Betsy. The Table Talkers burst into wild applause and carry him out of the dungeon on their shoulders. Stephen Sondheim personally awards him the Congressional Medal of Honor.]

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