A Cautionary Tale
(of what happens when addiction can't be fulfilled)

by Miracleman and ita

   Miracleman:
You don't need Joss to show you the way...the way is in yourselves...

   ita:
Joss is my light and my salvation ... whom shall I fear?

   Miracleman:
Tim.

   ita:
Oh. You're right.

   Miracleman:
The Gospels According to Mutant Enemy. Genesis 5:11 "and lo! There fell from Heaven the Angsty One, also the Twisted One, Lord of Pain and Master of Darkness. And his name was Tim. And he spread death and Plot Arc Twists across the face of the land."

   ita:
The Joss is my viewing refuge ... of whom should I be afraid?
The Joss is my light and my salvation.
When banality comes at me
To dull my senses,
David E Kelley himself does stumble and fall.

   Miracleman:
And the Bochcoites fell before the onslaught. And they cried out "Where have we failed, where the Joss has succeeded?" And the answer came unto them: "Quality."

   ita:
Thus says Joss the Lord,
Who created the season arcs and stretched them out,
Who spreads the networks with its entertainment,
Who gives breath to its characters,
And spirit to those who brood on TV
I, the Joss, have called you for the victory of emmies.
I have grasped you by the heart,
I scared you, and set you
As a covenant of the medium
A light for the nation
To open the eyes of the bored
To bring out prisoners from cliches,
And from the dungeon, those who live in sitcoms.

   Miracleman:
Amen.

   Miracleman:
...And the ark of Arcs was built thus: A box of plastic, one and a half cubits by one cubit by one and a half cubits. And it did have laid in one side a screen of glass. And it did have next to the screen of glass knobs and buttons, for the controlling of the ark's visions. And it did have within it many and varied components for the receiving of the visions. And the Nielsenites asked of the people "What visions do you seek?" And the people shouted out "UPN! UPN!" And the Joss was pleased.


Authors' Quotes

ita: I think this conversation has to be preserved as an example of what happens when good people go too long without their WX.

Miracleman: Yeah. I'm getting all shaky and...hey! There are invisible spiders in my eyes!! Get 'em off, GET 'EM OFF!!

Originally posted in Natter 3: Natter Abhors a Vacuum (#1420), WX, November 29, 2001. (But don't look for it, WX ate all the posts that day.)