Biological Time Bomb
(To the tune of "Biological Time Bomb" by Christine Lavin )

by Katie M

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick Listen vamps
Do you hear something ticking?
I do, I do, I do, I do. I do
It's inside me
What will it do?
A Biological Time Bomb

Iím not so strong on those maternal instincts
Got all my own kinks, I like to flaunt Ďem
Donít need no condoms
Love being a fatal fem
At least deadís good for something

Oh
I canít believe thereís something in my womb
Oh
Down in Nicaragua, did you hear that Boom?
My Biological Time Bomb

Now every time I see my growing belly (clap clap)
I think hey wait, in Denmark somethingís smelly (clap clap)
I am angry
I am confused
But wait!
I have figured out how to excuse
The Biological Time Bomb

First you get a vampire ensouled, then depress him
Curse him with a creepy spell that keeps him from caressing
Bring back his skanky undead girl
(Look, skank is in!)
Then take away his chance to save her
And his chance to win
After a bunch of beigeness get both of them into bed
Epiphanies a-cominí
And a detour to get Fred
You see, the key is Angel
Heís different now
His swimmers have been energized
Fertility allowed

Listen vamps
I can't ignore this ticking any longer
As I get bigger
Youíd better ponder
Biological Time Bomb
Biological Time Bomb
Biological tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick


Originally posted in Angel 3: The Schmuck Bait Arms (#4323), WX, September 27, 2001.