What Would Buffy the Slayer Do?
(To the tune of "What Would Brian Boitano Do?"
from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut )

by DXMachina

   XANDER
What would Buffy the Slayer do,
If she were here right now?
She'd make a plan, and she'd follow through,
That's what Buffy the Slayer'd do.

   WILLOW
When the Judge was reassembled, and began his evil blitz,
She took her trusty rocket gun, and blew him all to bits.

   XANDER
When Angel lost his soul again, and cast his dire spell,
She stuck a sword into his gut, and sent him straight to hell.

   BOTH
So, what would Buffy the Slayer do,
If she were still alive?
I'm sure she'd stake a vamp or two,
That's what Buffy the Slayer'd do.

   SPIKE
I want this chip out of my head,
It keeps me from causing any bloodshed.

   ANYA
And I just want my man
To help me with wedding plans.

   DAWN
And maybe I'll be a vamp slayer too,
'Cause that's what my big sister'd do!

   GILES
And what did Buffy the Slayer do,
When the Mayor tried to ascend?
She lured him in as the high school blew,
That's our Buffy, bold and true.

   WILLOW
When Adam awoke, and killed and maimed with great demonic force,
She drove her fist right through his chest, and crushed his power source.

   SPIKE
When Buffy fought the hellgod, she kicked her lopsided ass,
'Cause Buffy the Slayer didn't take shit from anybody...

   ALL
So let's all fight together,
Though our hero's dead and gone,
We'll kill some vamps and some demons, too,
'Cause that's what Buffy the Slayer'd do.

And we'll kill some vamps and some demons, too,
'Cause that's what Buffy the Slayer'd do.


Originally posted in Buffy 6: In Joss We Trust (#5029), WX, September 23, 2001.